"It's better to lose with your own vision than to win with someone else's."Johan Cruyff
Yes, it’s the beginning of a new year and if you have kids, family, and/or friends the last thing you probably want to think about is more gifts, however during this time when self-reflection is at its highest I want to give you a moment to think about yourself.... strange concept for most of us (but remember my job as a coach is to fuel introspection and accountability). So, let’s explore my title's question "What Did You Gift Yourself", was there anything you selected for yourself whether tangible or intangible, if not, have you consider why that is? Was it a lack of resources, planning, or is the idea of giving to yourself such a strange idea that even on the #1 holiday for such an occasion you still did not make the priority list?
Now, I don’t expect you to have splurged on a new expensive gadget, or fashions when certainly the electric/cellphone/cable bills remain due on the same day but I am asking you to consider where you rank in your own life. If you are reading this and actually had a gift for yourself kudos but if not I want to challenge you that it’s not too late. What I will suggest is not a resolution by any means nor does it follow the mantra of "new year, new you" but it will take a conscious effort. Are you ready? May I suggest to you that the best gift you can give yourself 365 days a year is the gift of being PRESENT, showing up by discovering and making goals, following through with them and making your needs a priority, staying in the moment as you can't change the past and you can't predict the future Being present is not easy and may force you to say "no" to others, or spend some time alone to hear that inner-voice but trust me neither of those things are bad ideas.
You will never be fully available for others if you never take the time to show up for yourself. So for 2017 I want to salute you, the best gift of all!! Here's to a safe, healthy & prosperous New Year.
It’s amazing how quickly ideas, thoughts, fears can change just by looking at it from a different perspective. This has resonated with me for some time now and I have my middle child (whose is now 4) to thank for this revelation. Months ago when the movie Deadpool came to the theater there was a large cutout of the image that completely frightened my son. Then one day whether someone told him or he decided that this character reminded him of Spider- man he longer felt fear. He looked at the cutout, stood there and just looked at it. Tight suit-check, covered from head-to-toe-check, yep he was pretty sure that was another version of Spider- man, and why couldn’t it be he own Venom who also looked like his beloved super hero. From that day forward whenever he would see the large, glowing eyed character he no longer ran, or asked to be held he merely scoffed and would exclaim, “oh yeah he’s like Spider-man!” It didn't matter what anyone said to my son after his mind was made up he had decided how he wanted to interpreted what he was seeing.
For some, my example might be a stretch but the foundation of my point is this, how often do we allow our fears to set us back from our purpose? Do we allow others to interpret what we see and accept it as fact, why? Many times choosing to move forward or choosing to stay in the place of mediocrity is really just the difference in perspective. If we choose to see ourselves as able, if we can visualize having the power to change our current circumstances, if we would decide to change our view there would be very little we would not accomplish because of fear. Our fear of failing should never be greater than the fear of complacency.
**photo credit Deviant Art http://orangebluecream.deviantart.com/art/Deadpool-spidey-and-Venom-say-thanks-329295836
During a session with a client I felt the need to remind her how important it was to really invest herself fully into her business. Yes, we have obligations to what seems like the whole world but to be successful at anything takes intentional time and devotion. As a business owner often people can’t see all of the real work that goes in to fulfilling your dreams and so they assume you have “free time” or that you are at their disposal. I am learning it is okay to just say “no”. If you don’t make the time to pursue your gifts and focus on the things that make you happy there is absolutely no one you can blame but yourself. Trust me it is not easy making the time but you are so worth it. You owe it yourself and the world to invest in what you are being called to do.
A few days ago while at an engagement several people approached me and complimented me on things from my weight, style, to just “keeping it together” …words most hard working people love to hear, right? However, in those moments I found a way each time to shoot down the compliments or diminish their words. Words of affirmation are big to me and are definitely a part of my love language and yet when given a compliment I am completely uncomfortable and will say almost anything to distract from it…weird I know.
But what has come from me realizing this is the reason I am so shocked when I am complimented is because I am constantly striving to do better, to do more. Often, I honestly do not feel that I do anything extraordinary or noteworthy I am simply doing what has to be done, what should be done, and what can be done to the best of my ability. I live a typically routine life constantly searching for ways to create balance while juggling all the balls of life at once.However, I am beginning to recognize in many ways I am in a race with myself the only problem is there is no finish line.
While striving for excellence can be a great self-motivator it can also be self-destructive if you never stop and acknowledge your accomplishments. This is a reminder not only to you but also to myself to take time to celebrate the accomplishments big or small, allow people to see your hard work and effort. Never reduce who you are or what you have done so far in life. Remember to be in the moment and allow those great things to push you towards greater things. If you never stop and appreciate where you are, or acknowledge where you are, how can you properly prepare for where you are going?
You may not have the dream career you want; many obstacles may have tried to stifle your life’s passions but it is never too late on this race called life to take a detour on the path less traveled that could lead to happiness. Have the courage to believe you are as great if not greater than people can even see.
As a mother, wife, daughter, friend, researcher, entrepreneur etc.etc., I wear so many hats as many of us do and in the midst of it all often I neglect the responsibility of “self”. Last week while doing my routine juggling act my body decided it needed a break. A painfully sore throat which stayed for a few days caused me to rest my voice (and all the boys in my house took a sigh of relief, lol) and fatigue. I had no choice but to only speak when it was actually necessary and to allow my body to get better. Having a moment to rest always causes me to do some internal evaluating. During this time, I remembered that although I know I am needed and I take pride in all that I do it is okay to not always be available and that as important as I feel I am things can still operate if I need to take a break. I also was reminded that people want to be helpful, asking for help does not reduce my strength it actually allows me to only get stronger. So remember to take time for yourself, there is nothing more important than your health.
As I was looking for just the right thing to enter as my official first post, I went back and looked through all my notes and inevitably began to stall. I have written so many ideas, jotted concepts, and articles to share. I wanted to be sure that my introductory post was something so compelling that each reader ( assuming someone is reading this) would want to continue reading my words of insight and wisdom. I notice however in this great effort to provide you with something fresh and completely innovative, I almost allowed it to prevent me from completing the task.... which was to POST!
Often we allow the details of life to distract us from the passion and drive we have to do a task whether it is large or small. However, I am learning that it is far better to get started, take just a few strides toward the thing that you wish to accomplish and believe it or not it will get done. So without further adieu I have entered my first post.
Renew, Redefine, Reinvent your life!